Thursday, April 14, 2011

Baseline Ultrasound: Check

Survived the baseline Ultrasound and now I am just waiting for my estrogen blood test. Yesterday was a big day. I was really nervous for a few reasons. The first was the blood test. I can't tell you how many times I have fainted when I have gone to get my blood tested for my hypothyroidism. Just recently the last few times at my hmo( Kaiser) I found this one women who does it quickly and makes me laugh. So, no fainting. But  since I found out I will not be going to her for my IVF process, but to the UCSF for blood draws, I have been real nervous. I worry no longer!!! I guess since I have been getting myself acquainted with needles with the Lupron, this was so easy. I still did not look,but it went by within seconds and I had no fear. I can't tell you how happy I am to be getting over such a phobia of mine.

Back story of my fear. I actually have a pretty bad history of fainting. When I was about three, my mom ran and tripped over a coffee table to protect my older brother. And in doing that her knee cracked open and when she picked up my brother, she looked down at her knee which was gushing with blood, and my face was right there next to her knee. She looked over at me, my face went white, I went to scream and nothing came came out. Since then, whenever I have fallen or hurt myself I panic and in my head I see blood and fear overcomes me and I faint. Over the years it got really bad. Simple things like blood tests, sprained wrists, ankles, if I fell down: boom I would faint. One time I fainted when I had a horrible menstrual cramp. I recently fainted at my saline sonogram. This has been a stressful event because if I plan on having a child, the labor is nothing compared to anything I have ever felt before.

But I am happy to say, with exposing myself to the needles with Lupron, I showed no fear with the needles when I got my blood taken and the mock transfer went smooth even when they touched the top of my cervix. I was sure I would have have fainted if I did not meditate earlier in the day and did deep breathing. I have come so far, and I am going to celebrate this victory!!  OH and no cysts. That is a great thing to hear. during my ultrasound, two doctors(women) came in. Seriously, they went so fast, my husband and i were trying so hard to keep up. It was really just ridiculous. I was just so happy I survived the pushing and violating of my ovaries and cervix, I was too happy to be annoyed that they were talking at the same time and oh did I forget that they put in the catheter that was way too hot to be put into my uterus. I screamed and and almost swore. The women(intern) said woops! lol anyways..they went in when it was cooler and everything went in fine. it was not painful at all. It did feel not so good when they touched the top of my unterus. But it was over in a second.

I went home, relaxed. I felt almost sedated. I then had pretty bad cramps. was AF!! Ahhh...everything is coming along. I am going to soon see that BFP!!!