Now I remember why I started Blogging. Really because it is because of this community. YOU all have such wisdom, humor, and compassion. I have been struggling with lots of issues lately: My body image during this pregnancy( and well..since I was 10) fear of miscarriage and actually reading it hear often in our community( which makes me so sad and fearful. and angry), my hormonal rollercoaster from the extra hormones and the natural extra hormones from the pregnancy, the change of my job, and how I will be as a parent( financially, geographically, and emotionally).
The above issues need a couple posts each. But right now...I just want to talk about the BABY!!
AHHH.. I am so excited! The baby is alive and well. I guess I can not call it a baby..a fetus..because seriously..it is still developing..and it has a long way to go. But it looks way more like a baby at 14 weeks that at 9 weeks. It is so amazing how much development occurs from 9 to 14 weeks. And let me tell you..it is not like you do not feel it.
I am so shocked with these crazy symptoms that have been occurring. I am disappointed women throughout my life who have had babies do not talk about such issues. Like for instance:
-the ripping feeling you have as your uterus grows.
ouch!! seriously..ouch~ No warning or anything! I thought I was getting my period.
-and what about the bubbly feeling if I do not eat every hour. Bread and saltines..people..get a huge supply when you get pregnant!! Start buying it now!! Costco or the dollar store!
-from week 8 to 14- morning sickness. Do not drink water with food, do not eat tomato sauce( or limit)
make lots of dishes that are cold, instead of hot..the smell from hot food will not make you happy.
-celebrate when you hit the 13 week and the new symptom is stuffy nose. Trust me..it is a blessing because you stop gagging from any scent coming from a mile away!
-your skin is going to get dry....so go to the store and get your favorite scented lotions. Cucumber scent has been my favorite..I would have to put it on my hands as I passed the kitchen at work.
- my hormones made me( let's be real-- still make me) crazy. Especially if I am hungry or I let the hunger go to long and well...I become a monster.
Now in the second Trimester( 14 weeks)
I am not as emotional( thanks to no more PIO shots), and the morning sickness has subsided for the most part.
Here are some embarrassing symptoms...
-your boobs..what is up with the white bumps. Not sexy..at all!!
-The gassiness. Let's just say there is no control over here!!! I will just walk into the room, and boom! It happens! It is so embarrassing. My husband just stares at me..and gives me a look like..really? No warning? Yeah..no warning..don't give me that look mister!! Let's have you carry this growing baby! Beautiful baby..but it is actually growing inside me! Holy Shit!!
Yes..there are moments where everything is fine and I will be doing my thing, and all of a sudden I will come back to reality and get completely shocked..I have a growing freaking baby inside of me!! My eyes look all shocked and I start to breath heavily!! I have to calm myself from excitement and yes..a little fear. I tried to explain this fear to my husband, but he was like, you signed up for this! lol
He really needs to gain some sympathy!! Okay..he is pretty great. We go shopping, and I get everything under the sun..and some really random food like lots of pickles and olives. We get to the car and bring them home and I am so nervous the neighbors are going to see me with my little two bags, and my husband carrying 6 on each hand. I fear they will think I am lazy and spoiled. Okay..I am spoiled..but I am pregnant~ Right!?
Hmm..what else...let's see: I have grays! Yes..I am 33 and well..they have grown in! I think all my stress these last 4 years..have contributed to my growing grays:( But..I have decided I am not going to dye my hair. Everyone else will have to deal with it! If they do not like it ..go take a hike!! I would never say that..but I care more about my babies health than someone's vain attitude! Sorry..I am getting a little testy talking about this issue. I think it is because of my dad. Yes..I am blaming it on my dad. It is rare..but sometimes it must be done. He came into the office about a month ago and announced to the office I "had to dye my hair..I could not walk around with gray hair." I was humiliated. I actually get humiliated by him often. He is not one of those sweet dad's who spoiled me. We never were close. That is for another post.
So..that is that! I better get back to work:)