Saturday, June 4, 2011

Long Post! it has been a while

Thank you everyone who helped me with my last post regarding supporting my work blog..:) I need as much help as I can...

anyways...As I catch up on my blogs...I am so mad at myself. I have really let some of you down. You have all been there for me through my whole cycle through every fear and joy..and I have not been there for you. I promise I will be there for you and support you because a lot of you are starting your journey for the first time and some are doing it again, while some of you are taking different paths and I am so excited for all of you!

I have been so absorbed in my new job, and my newly pregnancy. I have been busy trying to stay awake and I have been eating a ton. I do not think it is my baby asking for food..I think I have just always wanted to be pregnant and have always equated being pregnant with eating a lot of food. Not sure..but I am eating pizza, bagels, and lots and lots of cheese.

Oh!! Two days ago I had my first day of morning sickness. Very strange because the next day I felt..okay. Is  that normal? anyways. two day ago..I woke up feeling dizzy and nauseous. iIt was really bad. Okay...not so bad that I was vomiting or so dizzy that I had to hang on to the wall..but really dizzy and gagged a couple times. This was really not fun. I went over to my husband( since we work in the same business) and told him my symptoms. he smiled and looked happy about it. This was unnerving. I asked why are you smiling? He said, your pregnant! I just had to walk away...this bothered me. I then went in to tell me coworker, and she looked a little more sympathetic and said, she felt like this her whole pregnancy. This was not getting any better. I probably should have just blogged about it because everyone was just annoying me with their responses.
So, by 2:30 the symptoms went away. I have no idea what it was. I did not really eat much, just crackers, ginger ale, and mint gum. Since then, no morning sickness. Strange..but I am fine with no more morning sickness. I feel a little guilty complaining about pregnancy symptoms because I would do anything to be pregnant, but the symptoms are pretty gruesome. In the last week, I have gagged every day from smells that no one else can smell until I point them out, I have thrown up a couple times, and my boobs are so tender and they are growing!

I have gone to a few baby stores..but I have not let myself bask in  the joy too much, because they say miscarriages happen often in the first trimester..and well.I have 5 more weeks. It is so hard not to shout to everyone ..I am pregnant. Everyone knows in my office that I am pregnant..but not because I told them. because my mom has the biggest mouth! I have gotten congrats from lots of her friends..I have to say thank you, but it feels really awkward. I am not ready to be saying thank you..I am too worried about a misscariage, superstitions, and well...I would have like to have told them. My mom has taken that gift away. I am a little upset at her..but it is what is it..and I have a baby growing inside me. I have to just keep calm..but I have to remind myself I also have lots of hormones running through me.

Oh talking about hormones..the PIO injentions..I found now that I am not so fearful of that one and a half inch needle in my hip, I don't like the ice. With the ice, it is harder to move the progesterone around and I never liked the idea of putting heat near my embryo...so if you can bear a little sting, do not use ice or heat. It really is not that bad. It has taken me a month to be brave enough to not use ice..but if you are going into your second month with PIO..try no ice..it is much easier and the result is no lumps.

Okay..I better stop now..this post is super long. i have much more to say..but I will save it for another post
hugs!!!