Thursday, July 14, 2011

Can I say I told you so!

I am feeling so relaxed from a nice 5 day vacation in the redwoods. I got an awesome massage( prenatal massage by a doula) and went to a beautiful ocean view wedding, ate lots of ice cream(cinnamon) and spent a great time just relaxing and had no drama and of course no shots! Yayayya me!!! is the I told you so:
A few months back..I believe I wrote about a friend of mine who always has to one up me. Here is the back story without wasting too much time: She always has to do what I am doing to prove in some way she does it better. I went to college, she followed along,.to every school I went. I picked a degree, she would follow my footsteps. I would like a certain band, music, or anything you name it..and she would like it. I never noticed it. But when I would go and see her, I started feeling I was defensive. I would have conversations with her and well...I would feel I would just shut up because she had to tell me how great she was doing..for 30 minutes. This increased to a more negative path slowly during the last 15 years. I love her dearly as a sister, but I absolutely have been very disappointed in what I get from the friendship, which is nothing. because this is how she plays it, If I am doing better( in her mind) she will not talk to me for a couple of months) this is not a healthy pattern. I would get so hurt. Why ignore me, especially during my whole year with IVF. MY other friends were right there for me..and I have been there for them. But this one friend, if she is having a hard time, she will not talk with me. It drives me crazy. So a couple months ago before I became pregnant she says she and her husband started trying for a baby. I told my husband when we started trying that she was going to try to have a baby too, before me.This was my fear. While I was in the middle of IVF, she says, they were trying and if it did not work they would adopt. Okay, normally in a normal situation I would be hoping and praying for her. But for 15 years that I have known this couple they both said they hate kids and they would never have kids! Now!

Now!!! They want kids. Okay, while I was in the middle of IVF, her husband loses his job, has a heart attack, and she says to me, I can not discuss these issues, and I just need time to figure out what we are going to do..but do not call me. So I don't.

Today after two and a half months of not hearing from her, I decided to text her. I really needed a friend. I found out that my husband her has two slipped discs and has been suffering from them for 6 months got an MRI and saw a specialist. Good: it will take 6months to a year to surgery.  Bad: the upper disc is by the brain and if irritated enough could create a stroke. Low percentage but it could happen. I kind of freaked out when I heard that!!!
I texted her this..she said oh I am so sorry...I have more news, I am pregnant with twins!

Okay..tell me I am not nuts! Should I even waste my time beings friends with a person trying to one up while I am in need of friendship and comfort.

Sorry this is so long, but it is just on my mind. Thank you  if you even had the patience to get through half of this blog post.