Friday, May 13, 2011

Finally!! Beta Results!

I can not believe Blogger was down when I finally got my test results!! 


yes! BFP!! I am in shock right now!

it has been over a year of Trying to Conceive!

My first beta was 274
my second beta was 447

I am still nervous because I still have my ultra sound in two weeks. 

Let me tell you how my phone call went for my first beta. The doctor said "well you are pregnant". I started getting excited and emotional. She then stopped that by saying, "don't jump for joy yet. You have to go get your blood test tomorrow and then you have an ultra sound." All the joy just kind of melted away into my gut. Do I ever get a break. When do I get to celebrate!

So last night was so hard not being able to tell you all and vent and get advice with this mixed message of a pregnancy result. 

So then I got my second beta test result back today and this is what the clinic said: "these are excellent numbers congratulations. Let's set up an ultra sound." 

I let myself get happy this time. But of course I am worried about the u/s. I really really want to just soak this up.

I feel a little bittersweet right now.
1) I am so happy that finally all this worked!
2) I have worried about every step of this IVF, and it has not stopped now that the test result says I am pregnant
3) from reading blogs, I know how quickly a dream can be taken away
4) I want to dream, but fear is in the background
5) I feel I have gone through this journey with many of you, and fear I will lose this community
6) I feel so blessed that I got a BFP
7) I feel sad for all my fellow IF community who still have not received their BFP( this makes me very sad.) I have gone through many IVF and IUI journeys and have cried when I heard it did not work. It still breaks my heart.
8) I feel like I am in I celebrate or hold on tight for two more weeks until the U/S...I fear everything!!

As for now..I will try to enjoy this moment because I am pregnant! yes..I am pregnant. I just keep on repeating this to myself! 

I am pregnant!