Friday, May 13, 2011

Finally!! Beta Results!

I can not believe Blogger was down when I finally got my test results!! 

BFP!!!

yes! BFP!! I am in shock right now!

it has been over a year of Trying to Conceive!

My first beta was 274
my second beta was 447

I am still nervous because I still have my ultra sound in two weeks. 

Let me tell you how my phone call went for my first beta. The doctor said "well you are pregnant". I started getting excited and emotional. She then stopped that by saying, "don't jump for joy yet. You have to go get your blood test tomorrow and then you have an ultra sound." All the joy just kind of melted away into my gut. Do I ever get a break. When do I get to celebrate!

So last night was so hard not being able to tell you all and vent and get advice with this mixed message of a pregnancy result. 

So then I got my second beta test result back today and this is what the clinic said: "these are excellent numbers congratulations. Let's set up an ultra sound." 

I let myself get happy this time. But of course I am worried about the u/s. I really really want to just soak this up.

I feel a little bittersweet right now.
1) I am so happy that finally all this worked!
2) I have worried about every step of this IVF, and it has not stopped now that the test result says I am pregnant
3) from reading blogs, I know how quickly a dream can be taken away
4) I want to dream, but fear is in the background
5) I feel I have gone through this journey with many of you, and fear I will lose this community
6) I feel so blessed that I got a BFP
7) I feel sad for all my fellow IF community who still have not received their BFP( this makes me very sad.) I have gone through many IVF and IUI journeys and have cried when I heard it did not work. It still breaks my heart.
8) I feel like I am in limbo...do I celebrate or hold on tight for two more weeks until the U/S...I fear everything!!


As for now..I will try to enjoy this moment because I am pregnant! yes..I am pregnant. I just keep on repeating this to myself! 

I am pregnant!
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29 comments:

  1. KatMay 13, 2011 at 10:39 PM

    Congratulations! That is so awesome, especially having had both of your blood tests back already.

    I think your fears are normal, and all you can do at the moment is take it one day at a time.

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  2. Baby HopesMay 13, 2011 at 11:03 PM

    Congratulations!!!! So very exciting!!!!

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  3. China DollMay 14, 2011 at 2:08 AM

    Congratulations!! Fantastic news and great numbers xx

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  4. AnonymousMay 14, 2011 at 3:23 AM

    Sounds like perfect numbers! Congrats to being pregnant! It's amazing how it works. I think you should celebrate =)

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  5. clewisMay 14, 2011 at 4:09 AM

    Celebrate! relish in the joy. Dont be afraid to enjoy this moment. Congratulations

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  6. Miss MacMay 14, 2011 at 4:58 AM

    That is awesome news and beta numbers! Every step closer is a reason for celebration:] Yay!

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  7. SarahMay 14, 2011 at 6:01 AM

    That is great news and great numbers!!!

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  8. TippyMay 14, 2011 at 6:54 AM

    Congrats! Great numbers. Looking forward to your u/s

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  9. E and RMay 14, 2011 at 6:55 AM

    Great news! Congratulations!
    I recently got my post-IVF BFP and am struggling with whether to celebrate or be more cautious. I have decided to celebrate! Too much of my time has been spent worrying about everything and I want to just enjoy this moment - regardless of the outcome - right now, I am pregnant and I am excited! So, I say, enjoy it!!

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  10. Two People in LoveMay 14, 2011 at 7:06 AM

    Congratulations! That is wonderful news! (found your blog from Do I have to be a Dink).

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  11. AndreaMay 14, 2011 at 8:20 AM

    YAY...Congratulations!!! I'm so VERY excited for you, and YES, please celebrate the news!!!! I'm sure you will continue to worry throughout your pregnancy, then you'll worry when your baby is here, so the worrying will never end!!! ENJOY EVERY SECOND!!!

    P.S. To answer your question from my blog...I'm doing pretty good...it's not the end of the road yet, so there's still hope!! :)

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  12. KerrikMay 14, 2011 at 8:35 AM

    Yea!!!!! Congrats! I know it is nerve-wracking, but definitely do try to take a little time to be happy in the knowledge that your IVF worked, and that you really are pregnant!

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  13. Priya Varunesh KumarMay 14, 2011 at 8:55 AM

    congratulations marylin. i couldnt be happier :) this is your day, your time. celebrate it. :) and hats off to your patience during the entire time. :)

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  14. cdgMay 14, 2011 at 9:20 AM

    congrats to you!! so exciting!!

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  15. Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.?May 14, 2011 at 10:43 AM

    What wonderful news! Congrats!!!!

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  16. MarianneMay 14, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    Please celebrate! Your news brought tears to my eyes! I am so happy for you! Aren't you sooooo happy the 2WW is over! It's amazing! You give me strength to go on...

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  17. JjiraffeMay 14, 2011 at 11:01 PM

    Congratulations!! That is awesome news :)

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  18. A m a n d aMay 15, 2011 at 5:40 AM

    Congratulations!! I'm surprised the nurse was so cautious...I mean, of course there are hurdles to overcome, but you deserved to celebrate that moment!

    Try to stay away from google and the sad stories. It won't help you at all. Hoping that u/s comes quickly!

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  19. StephMay 15, 2011 at 7:05 AM

    Congratulations, that's wonderful news. I say go ahead and celebrate, if your numbers are increasing that's a good sign that things are going along normally. When I went to my first ultrasound they found a few things they were concerned about, but my numbers tripled over night and now 8.5 months later, I'm almost full term with my son. He's happy and healthy and so am I. I say celebrate, you're carrying a precious gift!

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  20. ~ebc~May 15, 2011 at 8:27 AM

    i'm a bit late to the party...but a huge CONGRATS!!! SO CRAZY EXCITING!

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  21. DianaMay 15, 2011 at 8:47 AM

    I am new to this blogging world and have created one of my own as well. But when I saw your blog and this was the first thing I read and got chills. Sooooooooo happy for u. Congratulations!!!!!! I look forward to hearing more! Take care & God bless.

    http://bunlessintheoven.blogspot.com

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  22. KristaMay 15, 2011 at 10:19 AM

    I totally missed your post! Yay...congrats to you on the BFP!!!!! Hang in there and stay positive!!!!

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  23. Dragon's BlossomMay 16, 2011 at 7:06 AM

    Just wanted to say congratulations!!! I am so happy for you and I wish you the best and for a healthy and easy next 9 months!

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  24. The Infertility DoulaMay 16, 2011 at 9:20 AM

    Congrats! The early stages of pregnancy after IF can be a very difficult time. Wishing you a happy and healthy 9+months. One step at a time....

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  25. Coakley's JourneyMay 16, 2011 at 10:46 AM

    CONGRATS! You should be excited, you are pregnant. Deciding when to tell people is always hard. We decided to be between my DH and I till the ultrasound, then the day of the u/s we told our immediate family. I am 8 weeks and I am finally feeling comfortable with telling everyone although it has not been published on facebook yet...lol.

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  26. AlexMay 16, 2011 at 1:25 PM

    Wonderful beta numbers!!! So very excited for you!!!!

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  27. DandelionBreezeMay 17, 2011 at 10:27 PM

    Fantastic numbers... CONGRATULATIONS :)) Sorry that I'm so slow to comment but only just catching up on reading while on bedrest. Soooo excited for you... wonderful news xoxo

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  28. erikaMay 18, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
    I am sooooo very happy for your great news. I hope this 2ww will fly by very soon for you!
    ***
    CONGRATULATIONS!!!

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  29. AnonymousMay 19, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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