Sunday, July 31, 2011

Tomorrow I am 16 weeks!

How far along: tomorrow I Am 16 weeks! Whoa!!!

Baby is the size of: Avocado

Symptoms: I am so happy not to feel sick anymore. Ligament pain..especially if I sit too long and then get up. If I do not eat a little every one and a half hours, I actually feel sick and throw up. headaches often..but not seriously bad. Congestion and stuffy nose

Weight gain: well..I gained 10 pounds during the IVF process, but since getting pregnant..5 pounds. I have some guilt about this..trying to work through it. I fear gestational diabetes since I am overweight. SO far so good though. I walk at least 4 hours a week. Now that I have more energy..I will step it up. 

Maternity clothes -none that I have bought. But my mom bought me a few shirts and a dress that is so comfortable. It makes me really look pregnant though. 

Sleep: getting better..but still a lot of tossing and turning. I have been a stomach sleeper my whole life, and have never slept with a pillow. So now..that the books and doctors say to sleep on your side,...and best way to sleep is on the left has been a struggle. I love falling asleep on my back and then when I start falling asleep, I turn on my stomach. So, for the first few months, I did not get any sleep..tossing and turning and freaking out when I would wake up on my back and of course the waking up to pee every hour.  Now I have a better rhythm. I got a memory foam pillow( so comfortable)and I put a thin pillow between my knees. It is not perfect, but much better. I also need a window open because I wake up from overheating and can hardly breathe unless the window is open. This is new for me because I normally like the house roasting when I sleep. 

Movement: Umm..not really. Can't really determine if it is gas or little movements from  my  little angel.

Cravings: pickles, olives, and cheese. Pesto has been good to. Anything cold and vinegary. 

What I miss: sleeping on my stomach. and...Sex again. The hubby is scared of hurting the baby. I swear...frustrating. He is frightened. He is always asking what I am eating..he won't let me eat any fish..and he wakes me up every time he sees I am on my back. The other day he saw ambulance on the freeway and started calling me to make sure I was okay. I did not answer and he started freaking out. I think I need to reassure him I am okay a little more often. He is so worried. He loves me..very sweet..but the worrying is not good for his stress level.

Strangest moment: my husband says the conception. MY mom was in the room. Sorry..cracking up right now. Who can say their mother was in the room at conception! lol A doctor was too though....thank you UCSF IVF department! I thought it was beautiful!!! Okay...and the strange morning sickness during the first trimester. "oh honey I do not feel well" 10 seconds running to the bathroom. Seriously it just happens without a lot of warning.

Gender: not sure yet..we will find out August 25th!!!

What I look forward to: everything. Baby showers, finding out the gender! I have the names already and I can not wait until my belly really pops so I do not look like I am just chubby. I really can not wait to feel the baby kick! or hiccup.

Milestones: second trimester! Very happy. I got to tell everyone. That felt great. 

I like these question answers..does anyone have anymore of these? They are kind of fun:)
I hope you all are having a fun and relaxing weekend.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Crazy Pregnancy Symptoms

Now I remember why I started Blogging. Really because it is because of this community. YOU all have such wisdom, humor, and compassion. I have been struggling with lots of issues lately: My body image during this pregnancy( and well..since I was 10) fear of miscarriage and actually reading it hear often in our community( which makes me so sad and fearful. and angry), my hormonal rollercoaster from the extra hormones and the natural extra hormones from the pregnancy, the change of my job, and how I will be as a parent( financially, geographically, and emotionally).

The above issues need a couple posts each. But right now...I just want to talk about the BABY!!
AHHH.. I am so excited! The baby is alive and well. I guess I can not call it a baby..a fetus..because is still developing..and it has a long way to go. But it looks way more like a baby at 14 weeks that at 9 weeks. It is so amazing how much development occurs from 9 to 14 weeks. And let me tell is not like you do not feel it.

I am so shocked with these crazy symptoms that have been occurring. I am disappointed women throughout my life who have had babies do not talk about such issues. Like for instance:
-the ripping feeling you have as your uterus grows.
ouch!! seriously..ouch~ No warning or anything! I thought I was getting my period.
-and what about the bubbly feeling if I do not eat every hour. Bread and saltines..people..get a huge supply when you get pregnant!! Start buying it now!! Costco or the dollar store!
-from week 8 to 14- morning sickness. Do not drink water with food, do not eat tomato sauce( or limit)
make lots of dishes that are cold, instead of hot..the smell from hot food will not make you happy.
-celebrate when you hit the 13 week and the new symptom is stuffy nose. Trust is a blessing because you stop gagging from any scent coming from a mile away!
-your skin is going to get go to the store and get your favorite scented lotions. Cucumber scent has been my favorite..I would have to put it on my hands as I passed the kitchen at work.
- my hormones made me( let's be real-- still make me) crazy. Especially if I am hungry or I let the hunger go to long and well...I become a monster.

Now in the second Trimester( 14 weeks)

I am not as emotional( thanks to no more PIO shots), and the morning sickness has subsided for the most part.

Here are some embarrassing symptoms...
-your boobs..what is up with the white bumps. Not all!!
-The gassiness. Let's just say there is no control over here!!! I will just walk into the room, and boom! It happens! It is so embarrassing. My husband just stares at me..and gives me a look like..really? No warning? warning..don't give me that look mister!! Let's have you carry this growing baby! Beautiful baby..but it is actually growing inside me! Holy Shit!!

Yes..there are moments where everything is fine and I will be doing my thing, and all of a sudden I will come back to reality and get completely shocked..I have a growing freaking baby inside of me!! My eyes look all shocked and I start to breath heavily!! I have to calm myself from excitement and yes..a little fear. I tried to explain this fear to my husband, but he was like, you signed up for this!  lol

He really needs to gain some sympathy!! Okay..he is pretty great. We go shopping, and I get everything under the sun..and some really random food like lots of pickles and olives. We get to the car and bring them home and I am so nervous the neighbors are going to see me with my little two bags, and my husband carrying 6 on each hand. I fear they will think I am lazy and spoiled. Okay..I am spoiled..but I am pregnant~ Right!?  

Hmm..what else...let's see: I have grays! Yes..I am 33 and well..they have grown in! I think all my stress these last 4 years..have contributed to my growing grays:( But..I have decided I am not going to dye my hair. Everyone else will have to deal with it! If they do not like it ..go take a hike!! I would never say that..but I care more about my babies health than someone's vain attitude! Sorry..I am getting a little testy talking about this issue. I think it is because of my dad. Yes..I am blaming it on my dad. It is rare..but sometimes it must be done. He came into the office about a month ago and announced to the office I "had to dye my hair..I could not walk around with gray hair." I was humiliated. I actually get humiliated by him often. He is not one of those sweet dad's who spoiled me. We never were close. That is for another post.
So..that is that! I better get back to work:)

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Can I say I told you so!

I am feeling so relaxed from a nice 5 day vacation in the redwoods. I got an awesome massage( prenatal massage by a doula) and went to a beautiful ocean view wedding, ate lots of ice cream(cinnamon) and spent a great time just relaxing and had no drama and of course no shots! Yayayya me!!! is the I told you so:
A few months back..I believe I wrote about a friend of mine who always has to one up me. Here is the back story without wasting too much time: She always has to do what I am doing to prove in some way she does it better. I went to college, she followed along,.to every school I went. I picked a degree, she would follow my footsteps. I would like a certain band, music, or anything you name it..and she would like it. I never noticed it. But when I would go and see her, I started feeling I was defensive. I would have conversations with her and well...I would feel I would just shut up because she had to tell me how great she was doing..for 30 minutes. This increased to a more negative path slowly during the last 15 years. I love her dearly as a sister, but I absolutely have been very disappointed in what I get from the friendship, which is nothing. because this is how she plays it, If I am doing better( in her mind) she will not talk to me for a couple of months) this is not a healthy pattern. I would get so hurt. Why ignore me, especially during my whole year with IVF. MY other friends were right there for me..and I have been there for them. But this one friend, if she is having a hard time, she will not talk with me. It drives me crazy. So a couple months ago before I became pregnant she says she and her husband started trying for a baby. I told my husband when we started trying that she was going to try to have a baby too, before me.This was my fear. While I was in the middle of IVF, she says, they were trying and if it did not work they would adopt. Okay, normally in a normal situation I would be hoping and praying for her. But for 15 years that I have known this couple they both said they hate kids and they would never have kids! Now!

Now!!! They want kids. Okay, while I was in the middle of IVF, her husband loses his job, has a heart attack, and she says to me, I can not discuss these issues, and I just need time to figure out what we are going to do..but do not call me. So I don't.

Today after two and a half months of not hearing from her, I decided to text her. I really needed a friend. I found out that my husband her has two slipped discs and has been suffering from them for 6 months got an MRI and saw a specialist. Good: it will take 6months to a year to surgery.  Bad: the upper disc is by the brain and if irritated enough could create a stroke. Low percentage but it could happen. I kind of freaked out when I heard that!!!
I texted her this..she said oh I am so sorry...I have more news, I am pregnant with twins!

Okay..tell me I am not nuts! Should I even waste my time beings friends with a person trying to one up while I am in need of friendship and comfort.

Sorry this is so long, but it is just on my mind. Thank you  if you even had the patience to get through half of this blog post.


Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Last Pio Shot!!

Last night was my last PIO Shot!! I can not believe it!! I am done!! I have done 67 PIO shots!! That is 22 gauge 1 &1/2 inch needles every night!  92 days of shots, and a total of 96 shots altogether! I am so proud and I really think us girls going through such an event should get an award!! I am so happy. I really think it has not sunk in yet. Last night was the last shot....and I went out for ice cream afterwards. I do not know what it is about a plain cone with one scoop of ice chocolate chip or french vanilla, but I am in just heaven when I get my ice cream! Taking a break from it tonight and the next couple days, I went a little overboard the last couple days:)..My husband just said he wants to go out for ice cream again! uh oh!! :)

A little TMI: so here is the warning..................................................................................
I finally after three months( yes..I said three months) of no sex at all: did it!!! woohoo!!! Pretty awesome stuff!!! I highly recommend this fun activity. I was a little scared about the orgasm because I read the uterus contracts after an orgasm..but all was well:)
I am 12 weeks so I gave myself permission to tell: everybody. it turns mom has told most of them. I am kind of perturbed about this, but it is what it is. I did not get pregnant for them, I got pregnant for me and my husband. I just will not be telling her anymore fun details. Like the gender, or when I am in labor! Yeah! no....I will tell her: she just can not help herself. She likes the gossip.
But, I got to tell all my friends on facebook and they were all surprised. I got to tell my childhood friends, and that was fun and I got calls from them with excitement in their voices. That was priceless:)

Symptoms: more dizzy and tired! Really tired!!!

I can not wait to start commenting! How is everybody!!!?