Forced Sterilization

I have fought so hard to have my baby boy with infertility. I struggled with the emptiness feeling of yearning for a child. I am sitting here with my baby, playing and having fun and on the show, Anderson, I am shocked to hear that my county, the United States of America forced sterilazation on thousands of victims! And Our government pin the present is doing nothing for them. What else could be happening here?

According to the Los Angelos Times:

Between 1909 and 1964, more than 20,000 people in California were robbed of their reproductive abilities through a state program of forced sterilization. Under the misleading guise of "race betterment," doctors at California's state hospitals sterilized those who were considered "unfit to propagate."

The origins of California's forced-sterilization program lie in the misnamed eugenics movement of the early 20th century. The term means "good breeding" and stemmed from efforts to improve plant and livestock breeds. But those who believed that "degenerates" and the "feeble-minded" should be prevented from having child- ren launched campaigns for state laws to permit the sterilization of people with such deficiencies.

 In 1907, Indiana became the first state to pass a forced-sterilization law, and California followed suit in 1909. Thirty states ultimately enacted such laws, and some 64,000 people -- most of them poor, young women -- were subjected to the surgeon's knife without their consent.

My new Blog

It has been a while all my blogging buddies. I hope you all are doing well. Some of you have started new cycles, some of you have had bfp, and some I hate to read about bfn. A lot of you have been through the hard times with me and I would love for you to see me through my happy times as a new mommy. My new blog I would love to share joys of parenthood with you. It is a lot more revealing with pictures and such. Here is the blog:

http://marilynandthetan.info

I also would appreciate a little help for a friend of mine. She has had the misfortune of hearing from her doctors that she can not conceive because of a heart condition she has. I would like to help her in the next journey of her for adoption and surrogacy. Any idea, organizations or advice..please email me at: Marilyn at mariyamitr@gmail.com

I hope you are all doing well.and I look forward to catching up on your blogs:)

I had my baby early! Pictures!

 It is 6am and the house is silent, and my hubby is holding the baby. I have had three hours of sleep, and I will soon go back to bed..but I am excited to tell you about  my 21hour labor story. When I think back and while I have told the story to friends and family, I have realized at this point that it was not that bad. So here is my story. Week 36 of my pregnacny I started getting readings of high blood pressure at my weekly nst appontiments. That Tuesday of week 36 I also had protein in my urine. MY high risk doctors said..well, do not worry..you are borderline preeclampsia go home and if you get another symptoms give l&d a call. Well the next day both Thetan and I thought my face was real puffy so I called and went into to see a doctor. I had high bp, so she ordered a 24 hour urine drop. I peed in a bottle for 24 hours( which was so annoying) and dropped it off Friday. MY doctor said, if it is abnormal, L&D will call on Saturday the 31. So Saturday Morning comes along, and I see my test result. It says 0-165 is normal. MY number was 319. It was 10:20 and I had not heard from L&D. I called L&D at 11..and they said they had not looked over the test yet. They had to call me back. Eventually they called me back an hour later telling me that I needed to come in to get evaluated and I might be induced today. In my mind, I thought it is not time..I am going to be induced on the 11th..and I am just going to go in and check my urine and blood pressure. So I called my mom..and she said she was coming over right now. Thetan and I kind of looked at each other and said.."we are not ready...we do not even have a bag packed." So we packed a bag, and it started to feel more real. I was nervous and well..felt scared and out of control I feared I was going to get full on eclampsia...and get seizures..soI just thought I would go and get my massage I had booked the night before. My mom said she would drop me off at the massage place. She picked me up and she started lecturing me saying I should be at the hospital right away. She gave me a long lecture and I canceled my massage. I think it was a smart move because I would not have been able to relax. So..the doctor called and said at around 12pm, to not come in until 7pm because they are overwhelmed with too many patients. We did not go in until 5pm, my mom wanted to go early. so we sat in the waiting room for 2 hours...it was so busy that therere was a women who was force to wait in the waiting room with contraction 2 minutes apart. She was amazing, each contraction she did not make a sound, just got real quiet. I was amazed and impressed. I went to the desk to ask how long I would be waiting and then I made a stink that this poor women needed a room. They came out a couple minutes later..and the husband hugged and thanked us later. It was a horrible thing making her wait..she had the baby 1 hour later. Anyways..they got us a room..and I peed in a cup. It was plus 2 protein in the urine. That was the highest it had been. They were concerned when it was plus 1, so plus 2 was not good. They admitted me and so the inducement started at 11pm. They gave me a pill to start the thinning and contractions. Thetan went to bed and I just stared at the wall the whole night, waiting anxiously for the contraction to come. Oh yeah, before they gave me the pill, they checked my cervix. I was at 2 dialated and about 30% effaced. I was shocked I was a 2 already. I guess that is normal when you are a month away. So anyways, at 37 weeks, I was 2 cm dialated. So at 3am to about 6 I felt period like cramps every 15 minutes. So about 7am They did a cervical check and I had only moved to a 2 and a half. That was frustrating, They said okay you are going to the next step, pitocin. So for about a couple hours of pitocin, they said you need your rest, and recommended I take a drug I think it was called Fentenal to help me sleep. I took it and I started spinning and got so sweaty. I got a total of 15 minutes sleep. I do not think it was worth it. Anyways, by about 9am family started bringing over food for us and my mom came. The pitocin was going and the contractions were not that bad. At about 1pm they did another cervical check, no change:
 That was frustrating.


 I was hooked up to all these wires, so every time I had to go to the bathroom it was a three person ordeal. At about 3pm contractions started to get really painful. So they did another cervical check..it was a 3. So, they kept asking me if I wanted an epidural I decided not to get one until I could not take the pain anymore because I wanted to move around to deal with the contractions and to not slow down the process. They said many times epidurals prolong labor. So the contraction started really taking over. At first the contractions were not so bad and I was laughing and making small talk. By 3 pm....I had everyone staring at me..and all I could do was breath with relief between contracttions. MY mom, and best friend and I walked around a couple times around the hospital level. My husband seemed really uncomfortable. He seemed scared for me and did not like the fact that he could do nothing about my pain. I did not scream, but every contraction was getting more intense. Then around 4, I used a medicine ball and thetan and my mom rubbed my back. This actually helped a lot. By 5pm, it was so intense and they were coming every 3 minutes and then every 2 minutes. I felt comfortable with husband, my mom, and best friend in the room, but my mother in law was in there and I really did not feel comfortable with her in there. So, finally I got  another cervial check( mind you the first cervical check was so painful, through out the labor each cervical check really sucked, but that first one,.really was a doosy.) So anyways at five, my dialation was 4 and  80% effaced.


 At that point I said I was ready for the epidural but wanted to take the fentinal before the epidural to relax because I was nervous about the epidural. SO the doctor told me it could be another 9 to 10 hours so to tell everyone to go have some dinner. So I told everyone and they said okay..my best friend said she was going to go home but to call her if I increase. So I take the fentinal and literally I felt contractions back to back. I was holding Thetan's hand, and he just told me yesterday that I was killing his hand with each contraction. I was able to handle the pain through breathing, but I was so ready for the epidural..it was getting really exhausting. A half hour into the fentinal...my nurse comes in and says" I am so sorry, this never happens, but our one anethesiologist is booked in an emergency c-section." Well...what could I do. I said "okay..I will wait." This is when I started freaking out a little more. But within 15 minutes there was an anethesioligist in the room. They called him to come in from home. So he starts the Epi and I have to say..although I was shaking from the fear..it was not that bad. A little sting and boom, it was done. but this is where it got weird, I started shaking profusely. They tried to relax me by having me breath through it. I just kept shaking. I also felt cramping in my thighs. MY husband was just standing next to me trying to calm me down but my body was just out of control. I still felt my body and could move my toes. I was so nervous the epi was not done correctly. I started to get numb, but it was not instant. Then the nurse said the baby's heart decelerated and they needed to move me to get the heart rate up again. MY body at this time was shaking even more. I hated this feeling of out of control shakiness and I also started freaking out about the baby's heart beat. So the doctor came in the check if my water broke. She looked down there and said "omg look at that." I look down and three nurses and the doctor are looking at my vjayjay. I asked what is it. They said your water bag is just hanging out. she then checks and says wow!! you are at a 10. Time to start pushing. So with one hour it went from a 4 to a 10. and 100%effaced. She also said the baby's head is really low. So Thetan called everyone and before I knew it...I was getting ready to push. I have to say I was scared...of coursese excited but really scared of the pain. So...while they were prepping me..my family kept on walking in...and we would all yell..don't come in. RIght into the pushing people almost walked in!! It was unbelievable. Anyways...my legs started shaking and the doctor said lets start pushing..but then she looked and said...oh I misjudged baby is not as far down as I thought,,,you might be pushing for a while. We all looked at each other and I thought no way,...I want this baby out. So she said..I need you to push in counts to 10...so I took a deep breath and pushed as much as I could. The doctor said wow..you are a great pusher....you pushed the baby right down. The other doctor that was assisting her said wow...get everything ready...the baby is coming fast. The doctor seemed a little frantic and did not seem ready or preprared how fast the baby was coming out. She was getting things ready and my legs started cramping and I told her I needed to push. She said okay..without putting any oil on to help the baby slide through...the next contraction I pushed the baby's head out...the next I started hearing the doctors get excited and and my mom started crying. I was so excited and at the same time anxious to know what was going on. She said just a few more pushes..so I pushed during the next contraction and the baby came out. They put him on my chest and we were all crying. It was amazing. He was not crying though, Just real peaceful. They took him cleaned him up and  Thetan had tears in his eyes. he cut the umbilical cord. The rest is a blur people coming in and my best friend came in and then my other best friend  came in about 4 minutes after the baby was born. So as soon as the baby was born it has been all about the boob. Since he is premmature he is very weak with the latching...and I hardly had any colustrum coming out. It took until day 6 to get my milk in. It has been very challenging that I can not satisfy my baby with food. There is so much pressure to breast feed. Anyways, I feed Alexander 8 times a day, pump 8 times, and trying my hardest to get my milk out. I pump about 40 ML when I wait three hours, and only 15ML between just an hour apart. OH...he pee's every time I open his diaper. And often if I change his diaper and a new set of clothes.he diecided to pee then and soak all his clothes. He does this just about 3 times a day. OH..I counted how many times we changed him yesterdau...12.............

.......................... 12 times.