Saturday, March 19, 2011

AF is Here! CD1

OH Joy!! Oh happy Joy Joy!

Yes! I am celebrating my period. Cramps: Yay!! :)
I have officially started my cycle and tomorrow I will start my first day of of Birth Control pills! Bloating: Yay!!

Alrighty....gettin ready!! I am so excited, scared, and hopeful! ready for my rollercoaster of emotions. I was driving to work today for an hour..and I cried listening to Michael Bolten. That is a little humiliating...admitting that. There is something so amazing what I am about to be going through. I am just trying to absorb it . I thought to myself..this is the last time I will be waiting for my period. It has been so painful trying to conceive naturally. I do feel relieved I am leaving it up to the doctors. The feeling of hope, fear, and trying with all the pee sticks, fertility dolls and such has been exhausting. I have often heard from friends that they are praying for me. I told a friend the other day that my cycle is starting. She is a friend who I respect and really do look up to. I really appreciate her friendship. She is three months pregnant, so it was fun talking about all her symptoms and excitement with all the things she bought and hear about her future plans. She is one of the lucky ones who do not have to work for years after she gives birth. She will have to sacrifice a little with her husband working during the week hours away and then coming home for the weekends. I guess..while I wrote this, I realized we should all appreciate what we have. Because sometimes the grass on the other side is not greener. The last couple days I have been kind of jealous she does not have to work. But I am so appreciative that my husband will be with me every night and morning. There will be tough times ahead, but I am just so appreciative for what I have. This is a big reason why I blog. Not only do I realize so much about myself through blogging, but I find other's out there like you who either..give me words of encouragement, snap me out of my funk, or just hear me.
That brings me to another point... friend said the usual.. I guess it happens a lot. But it did get me a little bothered..and I ate a lot of ice cream when I got home. She said, there is this girl at work who was preparing for IVF and right before it started, she got pregnant. Why did she tell me that? I was spotting at the time and I became just hopeful that maybe just maybe I would be one of the special ones. So for that night and Friday..I prayed..I hoped, and got so damn frustrated! and then finally...I got my period last night. I got pissed. Why I am not one of the lucky ones. I have to take shots, and go through surgery, and get all crazy pain. So yes..this is my rollercoaster. So I can feel hopeful, and then, pissed, and then sad, and then angry, and hopeful again, and then positive. And then it starts all over again! this point I am feeling relieved and hopeful!
Ahhh. that felt good to get out. I hope you all are having a good week...I will be get reading soon:)


  1. What wonderful news! I heard stupid stories about getting pregnant right before IVF - drove me nuts!!! I'm so hopeful for this cycle for you!!!

  2. yah, thats cool, your on your way to starting. exciting for you

  3. good luck this cycle, excited for you to get going.
    I have no idea why people say stuff like that, I am pretty sure that when you don't know what to say, you probably should just stop talking-- clearly most people have not gotten that memo

  4. Stopping over from ICLW from #63 & #153. best wishes for your IVF! and yeah for AF. its so nice to be able to move forward, huh? i hate bcps too. bloat city!!!

  5. You're so right Marilyn, the grass isn't always greener. It's hard not to initially think so though. I know I'm really bad at commenting, but I'm always thinking of you!