Okay...I have to get this out. I am freaking out just a little bit. Okay..okay..I know I said I would do anything to have a baby. Shots, hormones,...whatever. But oh my god!...Oh my god!! I don't think anyone can get ready for what is in store for me the next couple of weeks. I am giggling...the nervous giggles. It is strange..but the money stress is not there..it is just the needle fear now. I do not do well with needles. I am kind of all over the place tonight.
Last week my husband said you need to start getting ready for the labor, because you have to get through it with out fainting. Mind you...I have to get ready for the needles to get pregnant first! I agreed and said, what should I do. He said you have to really visualize what it is going to be like. So I did that night before I went to bed. I visualized all I could. I pulled visuals from my 8th grade science class. That was a crazy movie. I almost fainted watching it. I could not believe it. And then I took in the memories of the early morning as I stood by my sister in law's bed holding my brother up as she so bravely brought her little angel into this world. So I had lots of good pictures in my head. That morning I woke up from a dream of getting an epidural shot. That was not pretty. That seems really painful.
oh no!!! I am just in a very fearful state. I am sure tomorrow I will be better after a good night's sleep and maybe I will read some of your blogs. I aways seem to be in better spirits after a good dose of my support system.
oh..did I forget to reveal that I got my Calendar of medicine for the month of April. Yeah..that might be the cause of this freak out!! I was excited before..but it looks a little daunting at the moment. I know others have had so much more difficult than I have, But for a newbie..it seems pretty hard to go through all this. I know I will survive...I have to ..there is no choice.