Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Joining the IVF sisterhood

So, it begins!

I am spotting. Yes. I just wrote that. But it is true. The spotting has begun, and soon, my Aunt Flow will be here. I will then take my birth control pills, and wait to get my cycle list of medication. I am so excited, I can hardly contain myself!! This will be my very first cycle.

Questions in  my head:
How long is a cycle?
Why did my doctor order one dispense and three refills of Desogen(birth control pills)?- does that mean it is three months? too long!

Well, I called my husband and everyone I know screaming with excitement that my period is coming. They all kind of giggled and went with it.

I have a little fear. The needles, the menopause reaction, the side effects. At this moment I feel like it is all worth it. I am sure I will be singing a different story in a few weeks. I am also concerned I will gain weight on the hormones. I guess, I will try to workout as much as I can during this cycle. This is my first cycle, I am really want to keep Positive and think baby thoughts through this time of babymaking!!!


I have been not blogging for a while. It has been a  few weeks. My family and I have been going through some pretty dramatic stuff. I am refocusing on creating my family, and they will have to go through the drama mainly by themselves. They can not always lean on me and make me the mediator. They will survive without me. I am not able to deal with the stressor...nor do I want to be part of it anymore anyways. I love my family, I really do, but sometimes I think, they like the drama.

I guess the last straw was when I was over at my mom's and my brother and his child(his 14 month old daughter) were there. I was playing with the child and later that night I gave her a bath. All through this time( a two hour period of time) my niece was saying daddy , daddy. And her dad( my brother) was ignoring her. I kept saying, you daughter wants you, she is calling your name. Well, after about the third time, with his daughter knocking at the bathroom door and my yelling out, your daughter is at the door...he came in yelling at me. He said, "stop telling me I need to spend time with my daughter. I am the parent I know how to raise my child. You do not have kids so you do not know. Until you have kids, don't tell me how to raise my child because you do not know what you are talking about".

Okay..no tears from me. I did not cry. I was furious. Burning mad!!! I drew the line..and not speaking or being around such devastating anger and drama. He is just a mean, selfish, rude person. I am ashamed he is my own brother. What Brother talks to their sister, knowing the pain and heartache this has been for me and my husband. The sad part for him is he also went through IVF with his wife and he does not even want to spend time with his daughter. Shocking!!!

But enough about the drama..it is over. I will still spend time with my niece, because she is just a bundle of Joy...but I am staying far far far away from my brother.

So..here I wait for Aunt Flow to come. Come quick!!! I can not wait!!!


  1. YAY Marilyn!!! AF should come for me around Frida. I am not doing BCP this time. So, I think I'm moving straight to th einjections, joy. (I HATE needles!!) All I kow for sure, is call when AF comes.
    I have major family drama too, however mine is from my in laws. However, I will say that guys are so different from women when it comes to parenting. (Not defending your brother at all.)My hubby is awful at being a Dad sometimes, I feel myself hving to tell him to take care ofour daughter plenty of times. But, I know he loves her. (He is just immature and selfish at times.) Hopefully your brother was just having a bad day. I'm sorry that you are going through that though.

  2. Thats really mean if your brother! grrr...... Good luck with IVF. you will do fine. My next IVF cycle is coming up too. In April. As far as birth control is concerned, I never went on it, so dont really understand it. I did an antagonist cycle,so wasnt too long. As for weight gain, well it happens, unfortently, I hated that, but now that its been almost 4 weeks im starting to get back to my normal size. Ive decided to just give it up and not worry about that too much. And all the symptons etc are managable, not nice but managable. keep us updated wont you.

  3. Yay for starting IVF! It's a giant rollercoaster, but you can do it! Crazy about your brother - I hate family drama. But I love your attitude - focus on your own family building, and hang in there!

  4. I can't believe he was like that. So sorry you had to deal with him.

    Focus all your positive energy on IVF! I have a good feeling for this cycle!