Well...tomorrow is my 3 hour glucose test. Tonight at 10:30 to 11;30 I will have a half sandwich and a glass of milk. Then not eat anything else. I will go in Wednesday Morning at 8am they will take my blood. Then, I will drink a sugar soda..it really taste not bad..but after an hour..it starts to make me feel sick. Oh...and I have to drink it in 5 minutes time. Then an hour later I get another blood test. Then, another hour, another blood test. Then, one hour later, a blood test. That is a whole lot of blood test. I do not want to faint. ...but..here is my anxiety.
I have fainted many times before. Some of the ladies that have taken my blood are not good. But...I will breathe, I will deal with this..because I have a baby that is counting on me to be strong. I just have a lot of fear. I was thinking, maybe this is all a test. A test to see how strong I am. I am challenged in my life with pain. Not that I have had a ton of pain, some have had so much more pain than I have. But pain is a weakness of mine and I do not deal with it correctly. I get nervous, and think of all the horrible things that could happen, my stomach gets full of butterflies and my throat gets all dry and I start to sweat. It really is a mind thing that creates a physical thing. There are some great skilled people that can draw blood. And if they are not the best, I am not going to die from it, nor is it that painful. Yes...what gets me is the out of control feeling. But in reality, I have been through far worse. The 69 progesterone shots that were an inch and a half. I can handle this, and the sooner the better right. I need to know if I am diabetic because I need to take care of my baby. I just need to remember to breathe correctly and not panic while the blood is being taken.
I have also been having anxiety dreams. A few nights ago I had a dream I was back in the Ivf process and I got pregnant then lost it from a miscarriage. I woke up really sad..then last night I had a dream I fell down on my back. I woke up at 2:30 from this dream and tried to calm myself..I just said..this is a sign that well.I have to pay very careful of my surroundings.
On a more positive subject..my baby shower has been picked for Dec 4. The due date is Jan. 17th, so the 4th of December seemed perfect. I would have picked earlier in November, but the holidays are around that time, and people have company and getting ready for cooking and family coming over. So here is my dilemma, I have not done anything for my registry at all. I was thinking, my husband and I look it over this weekend and by Monday...write a little note about the registry for each invite with the website. Or I can write the three websites that have chosen for a registry and say..something like, by November1st..the list on the registry will be available. Not sure, but I just get so overwhelmed with the registry.
List for the registry:
my mother in law is getting the stroller- so that is off the list
my mom got the crib and mattress- so that is off the list
So I think possible list options:
bassinet, bottles, breastpumo( my mom said not to put that on..too personal),
diapers, wipes, carseat- but..I have heard of the 2 or 3 in one stroller+carseat,
swaddles, rocker, changing table, diaper genie, motion glider, rock on, baby carrier, burp cloths, bottles, high chair, or portable high chair, white noise machine, baby bedding, night light, baby bathtub, baby wash soap, baby monitor, first aid kit, bulb syringe, digital thermometer, baby scissors and clippers, baby friendly laundry detergent,
whoa..that is a lot of stuff..but of all different prices. Not really sure if I should pick from Baby r US, or there is registry.com where it is an online store where you can pick from many different websites. Still confused what to do...and so many options for each thing. It might just be easier to go to one store an pick everything from that store. But for now..I will fantasize about everything:)