Tuesday, February 15, 2011


My stupid laptop is giving me a hard time and broke on me:( So I have a good two minutes to write this at work.
 I am so pissed. I am not able to coherently communicate how sad I am right now. I am not pregnant, nor can I afford an IVF  $30, ooo. Who has that in their back pocket right!? Still can't cry though..need to leave work in about an hour and then I am going to cry my eyes out!!! Everyday I hear someone else is pregnant. Today I found out a friend is pregnant. Two days ago  facebook friend said she was. I really can not handle this!! sick to my stomach...really

okay...I am not sure all the reasons that are making me so lunatic and upset. I get a call from my mom telling me..are you alone? Can we talk? I say did someone get hurt? she says  no.._______ is Pregnant. It was like she was telling me someone died. There are so many reasons why I think she told me like that. But in the middle she says oh..your sister in law is calling let me call you back.  She then calls me and tells _________ law asked her not to tell her. What the fuck. That makes me so angry. I really can not control myself right now.  Remember when Halle berry won her Oscar..that is me right now..but I am holding it all in. I am really upset. That is just what I keep on hearing in my head. This is not fair. This is not fair! I hate being a jeolous person..but...everyone is getting pregnant around me. every day on facebook someone is getting pregnant, my friends are telling me they are pregnant, my cousins, and now my ______ law. They were not even trying!!!
I really need someone to yell at or slap me to wake up! But this is a fucking nightmare!!!


  1. sorry marilyn. its all shitty. im not sure how we ended up like this. its over taken my life and im fed up. your not alone

  2. I'm so sorry, just so, so sorry. None of this is fair and it all just sucks so much.

  3. Ugh, it IS a nightmare. Sometimes crying is all we can do. I've found the really good cries make me feel so much better, tho. Go ahead and let it out. It's so hard to see others get what we so desperately want. ((Hugs))

  4. I feel the same way. Just hang in there. I just keep telling myself someday that will be me. Although most days I am angry and say that line is a bunch of crap! ha I just learned that my brothers girlfriend is pregnant and she has an IUD. So I have been trying for 3 years to get pregnant and she gets pregnant on Birth Control! It really sucks but we just have to hang in there and know that there are others out there sharing the same struggles as us.

  5. Same thing here. Having another crap day. TWO cousins and workmate are pregnant atm. Since TTC my best friend had another baby (first month they tried too right!), another cousin had a baby and at least 3 people from school (only saw via FB) have had kids as well. The ones from school aren't even in relationships! They all were at the time but they didn't last. My husband and I will be together forever. We both want a child so badly but for some reason is not happening. I'm not yet at the IVF stage. Done all the fertility tests and no sign of anything. You can't fix nothing :(
    I hope a miracle happens for you soon. :)