My stupid laptop is giving me a hard time and broke on me:( So I have a good two minutes to write this at work.
I am so pissed. I am not able to coherently communicate how sad I am right now. I am not pregnant, nor can I afford an IVF $30, ooo. Who has that in their back pocket right!? Still can't cry though..need to leave work in about an hour and then I am going to cry my eyes out!!! Everyday I hear someone else is pregnant. Today I found out a friend is pregnant. Two days ago facebook friend said she was. I really can not handle this!! sick to my stomach...really
okay...I am not sure all the reasons that are making me so lunatic and upset. I get a call from my mom telling me..are you alone? Can we talk? I say did someone get hurt? she says no.._______ is Pregnant. It was like she was telling me someone died. There are so many reasons why I think she told me like that. But in the middle she says oh..your sister in law is calling let me call you back. She then calls me and tells _________ law asked her not to tell her. What the fuck. That makes me so angry. I really can not control myself right now. Remember when Halle berry won her Oscar..that is me right now..but I am holding it all in. I am really upset. That is just what I keep on hearing in my head. This is not fair. This is not fair! I hate being a jeolous person..but...everyone is getting pregnant around me. every day on facebook someone is getting pregnant, my friends are telling me they are pregnant, my cousins, and now my ______ law. They were not even trying!!!
I really need someone to yell at or slap me to wake up! But this is a fucking nightmare!!!