Wednesday, April 20, 2011

No fainting: just overflow of emotions!

I got my blood test today and there was no fainting. The women was a little harsh and tied the rope around my arm a little tight, but she did a great job and did not create a burn. I was very relieved I did not faint. That is never a  fun event. I also got my ultra sound and found out my follicles have grown from under 6 to over 6-8. I am not sure what it all means, but the nurse said that they are looking good and all growing at the same rate. So, I will take that as a good sign. My test result came back and my estrogen level is at 235. My next appointment is this Friday. I am very excited about this part of my journey.

As for my cat, I found a loving home one floor above mine. So, I can go and visit as much as possible. Ozzy was very mad. I had him sleep over and well, I went over the next day(today) and he was hiding behind the toilet. Very sad:(
I got him to come out and he became warm and loving. I caressed him and pet him and then we took a stroll around the house and I brought him to his food. He ate a little. He was very hungry. after about 30 minutes, he started getting agitated and hissed at his new owner. Ten minutes later, he hissed at me and almost scratched me. This new owner is very patient and understands this is normal. I am very thankful I found such a cat loving patient man. Also, this man is working from home, so Ozzy will have company all day. I will keep you posted in Ozzy's progress. I am going to see him tonight again. I hope he is more calm tonight.

As for my progress, I am very depressed. I miss my cat cuddling with me at night and when I am on my couch, he would be sitting on my lap and purring against my chest. I miss his soft fur warming me and cuddling with me. Tonight my husband and I got in a fight. It was a stupid fight. But what I have learned is, when we get in a big fight about something not so big, he eventually opens up. We finally slowed down in our fight and apologized to each other..and we started talking about other things. I had mentioned to him that I thought I was getting delusional because last night I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I heard his bell. My husband said, he heard the same thing. He then teared up a little. Oh, and then we both cried. This is like grieving a child. He is our child. I miss him, but I am so grateful he is just upstairs and we could go and visit. But in a way, it makes it hard as well. This new owner gets to cherish and cuddle, and love and be loved by our awesome little Ozzy. He is so wonderful and loving.

  okay..enough about my cat..I need to stop crying because I am going to get dehydrated!! :)

I was watching Oprah this morning and was amazed with this one story. A couple tried to have a child. They did their first IVF cycle and at five months, the babies(twins) were born prematurley and were stillborn. The second IVF cycle did not work sadly. aAnd then the impossible happened. The women's 61 year old mother wrote them a later telling them how much she loved them and how she wanted to help: by being a surrogate for them. I was shocked watching this show, this women gave birth to her grandson. What a loving gesture. That couple is so lucky. I love my mom and she has been so helpful in this whole process, but it takes a special person to have give birth to three daughters in her earlier life, retire, and after ten years of menopause, have a child for your daughter. Amazing...beautiful, really. I had thoughts while watching it thinking, I could ask my mom. But she is just going to laugh at me and say, are you serious?

anyways, I am such a mess tonight. double whammy with a surge of hormones and then grieving a warm fur baby!

I will keep you posted and I hope to be a little bit more cheery and brighter the next time

hugs to all


  1. My heart goes out to you. I have two cats myself and couldn't imagine having to give them up. Hugs for you.

  2. Sounds like things are going really well on the IVF front for you! I also have my next appt on fun to have someone at the exact same stage in the game!!

    As far as your cat goes, I'm so sorry you are missing him so much. I have a cat and a dog, and I get choked up just thinking about how it would be if I had to give them up. What a blessing though that you were able to find such a loving home for him, and that it's so close to where you are! You can visit him as often as you'd like...that's great for both you AND Ozzy :)

  3. Here from ICLW...So sad for you about your cat. I can only imagine how you feel. I am in first IVF cycle, too and can't believe how similar I'm feeling. I'll be checking your blog more often. Good luck. Hugs.

  4. I'm so sorry you had to give up your cat, but I'm very happy to hear he went to a good home! Your cycle is definitely shaping up well!

    And glad you had a good fight/talk with the hubby. It would be nice if you could get to the good talk part first without going through the fight! I know, it's hard.

  5. Good report about the follies...hope everything keeps moving along for you!
    So sad about giving up your fur baby but good that you will still get to visit him.
    Hope tomorrow is a better day and good luck with this cycle!

  6. Glad the cycle is going well... I'm going in for my 1st scan today! Exciting! Sorry about having to find a new home for Ozzy - must be so difficult :( Thinking of you x

  7. Love your blog and thank you so much for your support on my IF journey. I've awarded you a Stylish Blogger and/or Versatile blogger Award :)) Follow the link below and join in the fun this Easter :)