Monday, September 5, 2011

Vent and Relationship Topic

So I need to just vent here for a minute! I am 21 weeks pregnant today yippeeeeeee!!! so thrilled..but every time I take a step anywhere, my feet feel like they are are pins and needles and my lower back is killing me. Don't get me wrong, I would do IVF a million times to be where where I am, but I am in a little of pain here.

And MY inner bitchiness has come out as well. I am fighting with my husband a lot. I do not know what to say about this. I just want to nest and the house to look perfect, and I am not getting out the message in  the right way. In my head, I believe I am saying okay, next project next project, and he hears me yelling out orders. Not sure if he is more sensitive or I am being rude. It kills me that I am hurting him or irritating him in this way. I may need to reevaluate how I approach him or anybody else. Maybe this hormones or getting to me. and yes..maybe I have been a little on the grumpy side because I am in pain from my back and feet, tired, and still very sensitive to smells. I threw up at work from a bad smell from the kitchen on Friday and Yesterday on Sunday I through up from the garbage smell. Sometimes, I feel as if i am still not in control of my body.

I wish I was one of those women who find being pregnant to be a great time of peace with the self and liberation. I wish I felt proud and sexy with my new belly, but I don't. I am working on it, but people stare and rub my belly, and i do not feel good about it. I thought I would like the attention, but I do not look all glowy and sexy like the celebrities. I look tired, and flabby, I am in pain, and gassy.

okay,..that was a major vent.

ON the positive side: my home looks beautiful and extremely organized! Everything is organized and although I asked my husband to do his 5 loads of laundry( mind you we share a closet) and  him giving me a huge attitude for saying I would like him to do the laundry...he eventually did it. I am very happy that he has helped me and eventually does what I ask him to do..but why the attitude. I think I still, I need to work on my delivery. At least that is what he says I need to do and that is what being in a relationship means. I respect my husband and even though he really pisses me off sometimes, and our stubbornness gets us in some pretty heating arguments, we learn from each other and we are better because we push each other. We have pushed each other to grow up and be a better people since we were 16 together.

Do any of you have this same argument with your husbands or boyfriends? Any advice on how to get the message out with better delivery>

oh..and my feet hurt but the massage from the hubby sure helps!

I have been cooking lately too. Knowing me, it is a shocker! I don't cook, I do not like to cook, and frankly it scares me! So,...any easy recipes would be greatly appreciated:)

Here are a few tips from online websites:
1)Listen to your husband, rather than talking over him. Both of you are entitled to your own opinions, so never dismiss his feelings or thoughts because they don't coincide with yours.

2) Refrain from micromanaging a task you give to your husband. If he does a chore or favor for you and it's not the way you would do it, thank him for his effort and calmly explain that a different method might work better next time. Try not to speak down to him, since you both should be equal in the relationship

  • 3)Avoid negative facial expressions, body language and tone of voice when asking your husband to do something. Scowling looks, crossed arms and a raised voice are all detrimental in any situation and will limit your husband's willingness to help you out.


  • 4)Stick to the issue at hand, and don't look for the upper hand in a conflict. Do not start out with one argument and then bring up everything else your husband has done wrong recently. Focus on the present issue, and be willing to listen to his point of view to create a solution. Practice proper communication by repeating what your husband said to make sure you understand from where he's coming.

  • a negative and a turn off with husbands with nagging wives:

    A Nagging Attitude

    There is something about men that gets women to nag them especially as the relationship ages. Most men complain about the hard time they have contending with the continuous complaints and scorns that their wife dishes out in the name of self improvement. Women on the other hand have no clue what the fuss is all about, after all they are only trying to “improve” their man. 

    Have a great labor day:)


    1. I have been having the same pains - my feet and low back are killing me. There are days that just getting out of bed seems like torture because I can barely stand up due to the back pain - not fun at all!
      Here is an easy recipe for the crockpot, I made it last night and it is always yummy!
      Savory beef with noodles;
      1/2-3/4 pound beef stew meat
      1/3 c chopped onion
      1 t oil
      1 cup water - divided
      1/3 c ketchup
      1 T brown sugar
      1 T Worcestershire sauce
      1/2 t paprika
      1/4 t ground mustard
      3 T flour
      1 c uncooked egg noodles

      In small skillet brown beef and onion in oil; drain. Transfer to crock pot.
      Combine 1/2 c water, Worcestershire sauce, paprika and mustard; pour over meat. cover and cook on low for 5 hours or until meat is tender.
      combine the flour and remaining water until smooth; stir into meat mixture. Cook 30 minutes longer or until thickened. Meanwhile, cook noodles according to package directions; drain. Serve with beef.
      My husband likes to sprinkle parmesan cheese on top.

    2. This is so tough - trying to learn to talk to the hubby and ask for things in a nice way. I struggle with this - a lot. The best advice that I have heard is from my therapist: stay in my adult. I try to not whine, not throw temper tantrums, explain in a calm adult voice what I want, and be rational. Most of the time, if I focus on these things, then I get a responsive hubby. If I act like a child (which is so easy to do!), I get so much pushback, and get accused of nagging. Which is not fun...

      Good luck!