Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Baby shower in The Jewish Tradition

So as long as I have wanted a baby..(since I was 10) I have dreamed of having a full baby and  being surrounded by my favorite aunts and friends and family members. Seeing lots of baby blue or pretty girly pink..with maybe a diaper cake and everyone rubbing my belly saying "oh your glowing" Getting wisdom of parenting advice while others tell me nightmare stories of their own labor stories. Then of course a few tears and a warm wishful toasts as everyone drinks champagne and I drink apple cider.

Yep! I have it down to the T!

Well, if Infertility has taught me anything, it is not to expect anything.  So I am driving home with with my mom in the car..( I drop her off every night because we work in the family business together) and she says to me.."you know I have to say, in the Jewish Religion..Jews do not have the baby shower until after the baby is born".

I automatically get pissed off because back story: she threw a baby shower for my sister in law almost 2 years ago! WTH!!!

And we are not even Religious. Yes we celebrate The high holy days and hannuka..but really we do not follow any rules or traditions. There are a few things I have done that has been religious. My brother and I had our Bat and bar Mitva's- and before my paternal grandma  passed away) my father's side of the family was orthodox jewish.kosher..and went to temple and really put a lot of effort into their Jewish Community in New York and Florida) she asked me to have a Rabbi at our wedding. My husband is not Jewish..so she felt it was important to emphasize the importance that she wanted us to be blessed by a rabbi.

Well..my mom said during the drive, I am not saying I do not want to throw you a baby shower, but it is bad luck. I said okay..mom..that is fine..I do not need one. I dropped her off, and I ate half a bag of chips and vented to my husband who was driving and just smiled at me and listened and his advice:
lets go get some ice cream. I got excited and almost forgot about the disappointing news of not setting up a nursery and having a baby shower.

So we are there at the ice cream shop and I turn to look over at the frozen yogurt section,...and there he is him and his wife the rabbi that blessed us at the wedding. I forgot to say, as my mom walked out of the car to go home, she told me to look up more about the taboo and find out why it is a taboo to not have the baby shower before the baby is born.

Well..what a coincidence..call it fate or a sign, god..what have you. I was delighted and flabbergasted! We greeted each other we announced we were pregnant and they said they would be delighted to bless the child and our home. I am so excited. But then I could not restrain myself. I had to ask. so I told them of the conversation I had with my mom and the rabbi said it was introduced when there was a high mortality rate and no testing to see if the baby is okay, So now it is just a superstition. It is to protect the parents from a horrible grieving process if the baby does not make it. They said the nursery just normally is not made up until the baby is born. Other than that..it is not in the law of the Jewish books,...it is just superstition..among mainly orthodox Jews.

So I called my mom and she was just as in shock that I bumped into the rabbi after our conversation. Needless to say..I am having a baby shower and I am setting up my nursery. I have that right..and I have been to the doctor and had ultrasounds..my baby is healthy and he will be coming home mid January.

So that is it: I am planning a baby blue theme with animals!


  1. Wonderful news - I think you should definitely have a baby shower!!!

  2. Wow, if that isn't fate, I don't know what is! You definately should have a baby shower before your little one arrives! You have waited so long for this miracle and to finally have the baby shower you have dreamed of. You deserve to have it! Good luck with the planning and decorating the nursery!

  3. Hi there,
    I'm trying to catch up on my blog reading as well and am now up to date on yours! Congrats on having a boy - Alex is a lovely name :) Congrats on the move also.
    As for the nagging - I've been accused of that a lot recently too! We also just moved and I found that everything my Bloke did irritated me! Now that we've settled in a bit and I've had a break back home, I'm feeling a bit calmer :)

  4. This post actually made me tear up, mainly because my family is also Jewish and also superstitious about baby showers and having things for the baby in the house before it's born, even though we aren't religious at all.

    I had a huge fight with my mom a few weeks back because she will not host a shower or attend one, and was trying to convince me we didn't need to have anything set up before the baby comes so I should stop worrying.

    DH and I have been doing our own thing, buying stuff for the baby as we find good deals, and I think the guilt finally wore my mom down a bit...no shower, but she broke her own rule and ordered the changing table/dresser for us off our registry...it's a start, but I'm still mourning not having a shower of my own.

  5. So glad you get to do the baby shower and the nursery when/how you want! I have a friend who's Jewish and she told me about waiting, and I can see why (to avoid potential grief), but if you want to nest and celebrate, you want to nest and celebrate! :)

  6. Good for you! Just found your blog thru ICLW and I hope you have a wonderful time setting up your nursery! After waiting this long and going through all the tortures of infertility, you should be able to decorate to your hearts content. Happy shopping!

  7. Hello from ICLW!

    I had my shower about a month ago (I was just about 25 weeks, but I'm having twins, so we did the shower a bit early). It was so fun. I'm glad for you that you have one coming up as well! Making registries and bringing all your baby things home and finding places for them in the nursery for the first time, it all makes everything feel so real :)