Image via WikipediaI just realized why I may be having a mini Break down. I am not sleeping and I am crying and getting really nervous when I hear unsuccessful IVF stories. My brother's baby's birthday is this Sunday. Just another reminder that I am not in the in crowd. Everybody is going to be either asking me, when are you going to pop out a a baby, or there will be silence. I really am not looking forward to this. My Aunt and Uncle will be raving about their first grandchild as well. I can just hear it now, my mom making a speech or telling her sister, "oh, it is the greatest thing being a grandmother" and thanking my brother and his wife for bringing her so much happiness. I feel like calling in sick, but I can't. I love that little girl. She is the best..she is a bundle of Joy! But of course the decorations alone are my childhood. I was a big fan of Strawberry shortcake. and guess what they picked for decorations. Yes..Strawberry shortcake. You know, part of the joy of having kids is, you get to relive your childhood through them. I have always said I wanted my little girl to enjoy my childhood favorites like Hello Kitty, strawberry shortcake, my little pony. And if I could find her, rainbow brite. I am feeling a lot of sadness right now. Maybe I should just get some sleep and tomorrow will be brighter.
Image via WikipediaI just realized why I may be having a mini Break down. I am not sleeping and I am crying and getting really nervous when I hear unsuccessful IVF stories. My brother's baby's birthday is this Sunday. Just another reminder that I am not in the in crowd. Everybody is going to be either asking me, when are you going to pop out a a baby, or there will be silence. I really am not looking forward to this. My Aunt and Uncle will be raving about their first grandchild as well. I can just hear it now, my mom making a speech or telling her sister, "oh, it is the greatest thing being a grandmother" and thanking my brother and his wife for bringing her so much happiness. I feel like calling in sick, but I can't. I love that little girl. She is the best..she is a bundle of Joy! But of course the decorations alone are my childhood. I was a big fan of Strawberry shortcake. and guess what they picked for decorations. Yes..Strawberry shortcake. You know, part of the joy of having kids is, you get to relive your childhood through them. I have always said I wanted my little girl to enjoy my childhood favorites like Hello Kitty, strawberry shortcake, my little pony. And if I could find her, rainbow brite. I am feeling a lot of sadness right now. Maybe I should just get some sleep and tomorrow will be brighter. 
hang in there.
ReplyDeleteSorry you're having such a rough time. The impending IVF is clearly taking a toll on you. But perhaps once you get started, you'll see that the odds are on your side. Perhaps my last entry will help you address your fears of attending the birthday party -- talking to your mom about your experience.
ReplyDeleteWishing you best of luck. I'll check in again. Don't hesitate to write if you have questions along the way.
Hi Marilyn, In response to your questions on my blog. I have always had a few names up my sleeve, but I really try not to look to far ahead, been there before and wasnt good for my mental health. Yes my husband has read a few posts, he's free to read them if he wants. Reg the sperm, I guess we both try to make light of the whole thing, what else can you do.Yes our families and friends all know whats happening, i prefer to let everyone in, I need support, plus im not good at keeping things to myself. too much of a big mouth. good luck with the upcoming IVF.
ReplyDeleteComing from LAFC. It is a roller-coaster ride emotionally and you are getting hit with the 1-2 punch of the birthday and the holidays. But you are making steps and progressing towards your goal. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteOh I loved Strawberry Shortcake! I think this is the hardest thing - watching others live out your dreams, especially when it comes so easily to some. I hope the party went as well as possible!
ReplyDeleteI'm a new follower...here from LFCA! I am also starting IFV in January...we can do it together. Take a deep breath...It's easier than they make it sound.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from LFCA to offer some support. The IVF roller coaster is so intensely emotional! You are not alone, several of us have been on that crazy train. Hang in there, all of the emotions and pain of this process are worth it for that desired result. Although its completely unfair you have to go through it, just think how much perspective you have gained and how much you will cherish your children. I loved Strawberry Shortcake too, hope the party goes better than you thought and the weekend is a gentle one for you ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteHow are you doing today marilyn?
ReplyDelete