2) STOP STRESSING- YOU NEED TO RELAX
3) YOU NEED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR HUSBAND EVERY NIGHT
4) EAT LOTS OF ASPARAGUS
5) MEDITATE
6) GET DRUNK
7) DON'T GET DRUNK
8) HAVE SEX IN THE MORNING
9) STOP EATING MEAT
10) HAVE SEX EVERY TWO DAYS
11) HAVE SEX EVERY THREE DAYS
12) FEED YOUR HUSBAND PINEAPPLE AND CANTALOUP
13) IT WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOU STOP TRYING SO HARD
I am sure you have heard it all. My family and friends have good intentions...but some of their comments have pushed me away. I have also found it hurtful when my mother says, " being a grandmother makes it all worth it" while she holds my brother's 12 month old daughter. Sometimes I feel worse when I see my niece. I actually love spending time with her because she is so cute and fun. She is so much in the moment and really she helps me enjoy just hanging out and laughing. I love spoiling her and buying her cute clothes. But when I drive home, I tear up. I want my own daughter. I want to hold her in my arms and have her look in my eyes and smile. I want to hear her call me momma. Since my husband and I are infertile, I have noticed pity looks from my family and extended family. That really annoys me. I know they care, but I really don't like being looked at as a hurt dog. I try to play it off, but it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I wonder how any of you deal with it. I finally told my dad that we were infertile and would have to do IVF. I had a gut feeling not to tell my dad and of our frustrations or sadness during this year of trying to conceive. My gut was right. He is not a very compassionate father. You know what he said? he said, " oh, okay, well don't become the next octomom." As he laughed, I just practiced my deep breathing. I guess he just does not take anything seriously and really is self absorbed. Who was I kidding that he would actually be sweet and comforting. He has never been that kind of father. But although I know he is not that kind of father, I still deserve a father that is comforting and supportive. I was angry for a minute, but I am over it. I have a wonderful husband, my mom is warm and supportive. This women called and checks on me every morning. Who could ask for a better friend and mom.
In my saner moments I can see that comments about the Octomom or adopting are what people who don't know anything about infertility say when they really don't know what to say, but that doesn't make it hurt less when they say it. And it doesn't help with family events when you are the only one without kids. Good luck with you IVF cycle. I'll be starting my first cycle in January too.
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